Wednesday, December 1, 2010

So, finally am relieved from my organisation and it's a bit relief. The weekend was great as I met my old B.N.A.G.S. members: Mrs. S and Mrs. B.. It sounds so strange no. Well, we enjoyed a lot. Now am sitting at home and again the dilemma has started surrounding me. I'm still confused and clueless what exactly I want in various areas of my life. I know, I overthink stuff sometimes, but I need to get it out in any case. So, back to the topic, what I exactly want? Let's start with career. Then, I'll discuss other areas.

Career: Sometimes, I think that I'm done with all what I'd ever wish to achieve and don't want to work anymore. But at the next moment, I think no, I want to be independent as I can't ask my parents for money. It's against my ego or self respect(you might say).

Marriage: Now comes the next hot topic. Well, I will admit that I've always dreamt of that fairy tale and have been waiting for the Mr. Right. But, sometimes, I think no I can't shackle myself to anyone for lifetime, it will suffocate me. Oh god, how horrible.

Partner: If people ask me that what kind of partner you want? I can't explain it. As sometimes even an ordinary looking man attracts me while on the next moment I want a high profile person, whome I can respect and introduce to everyone as if I've won a trophy. Lolz..

Driving: This is the last and the recent concern. My parents ask me to learn driving. Even I want to do that so that I can drive wherever I want to but something incide me holds me back to do so as am scared of accidents.

So, in short, I am not able to understand whether I am confused or scared? Can't I make decisions or are my fears overwhelming me? Really, I need to get a job fast I suppose. Till then, I'll try to figure it out, what I want?

7 comments :

Rajesh Kumar said...

hey Ann, start with those first which are under your control like driving. Rest you try in parallel...
Small victory may increase your self confidence & also driving will make u independent & comfortable while going for interviews for job..

Jack said...

Ann,

Relax. It seems you are presently undergoing a phase of underconfidence. Take up driving immediately. What maximum can happen, you may dent your car? It is no big deal. If you wish to, continue to be financially sound. So job to your heart only. Go for one who understands you, has respect and trust for you and is willing to accept you as you are. Inner beauty is what counts.

Take care

CutePriya said...

Hey Ann!

Even I have to write something like my first 3 points would be same like yours and i will replace 'driving' with 'dancing'...

Life is so weird and seems like moving in a slow motion with nothing but Dilemma all around. At least you're relieved of ur job (and i am stuck with the same reason of being independent)

I am so Happy that you had an amazing time with your friends...

God Bless You Sweets....Hope the coming year brings tons of happiness for you.

Best,
Priya

12345678 said...

We all have moments of feeling this way. My experience has taught me that this kind of feeling is usually because there is some specific thing in our life we need to do to move on to the next phase or step.

Most likely, something just popped into your head that you know you should do. Whatever it is, the time to do it is now!

:)

The most difficult part is to accept that life is chaotic and uncontrollable. But where you go, what you do, and how you do it... well, that's up to you.

Rajesh Kumar said...

Hey Ann, I wish a very happy new year...
Not writing any more or too busy...

suruchi said...

hi ann
you are partly scared n partly confused and wholly a natural girl...
it happens to all of us...
give up on the inhibitions...most of them disappear anyways when we take the plunge;-)
all the best

montreal said...

good posting..well...i will follow later..again,thanks