Wednesday, December 1, 2010

So, finally am relieved from my organisation and it's a bit relief. The weekend was great as I met my old B.N.A.G.S. members: Mrs. S and Mrs. B.. It sounds so strange no. Well, we enjoyed a lot. Now am sitting at home and again the dilemma has started surrounding me. I'm still confused and clueless what exactly I want in various areas of my life. I know, I overthink stuff sometimes, but I need to get it out in any case. So, back to the topic, what I exactly want? Let's start with career. Then, I'll discuss other areas.

Career: Sometimes, I think that I'm done with all what I'd ever wish to achieve and don't want to work anymore. But at the next moment, I think no, I want to be independent as I can't ask my parents for money. It's against my ego or self respect(you might say).

Marriage: Now comes the next hot topic. Well, I will admit that I've always dreamt of that fairy tale and have been waiting for the Mr. Right. But, sometimes, I think no I can't shackle myself to anyone for lifetime, it will suffocate me. Oh god, how horrible.

Partner: If people ask me that what kind of partner you want? I can't explain it. As sometimes even an ordinary looking man attracts me while on the next moment I want a high profile person, whome I can respect and introduce to everyone as if I've won a trophy. Lolz..

Driving: This is the last and the recent concern. My parents ask me to learn driving. Even I want to do that so that I can drive wherever I want to but something incide me holds me back to do so as am scared of accidents.

So, in short, I am not able to understand whether I am confused or scared? Can't I make decisions or are my fears overwhelming me? Really, I need to get a job fast I suppose. Till then, I'll try to figure it out, what I want?